


Don’t apologize, it’s alright, I’m still here.

by ArtemisKane



Series: Trials and Tribulations of Artemis Kane and the Gangsey. [4]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: A/B/O, Angst, Communication, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Minor Violence, Misunderstanding, Multi, Possessive Sex, Smut, Swearing, Vaginal Sex, blowjob, jealous!adam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:55:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25070503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtemisKane/pseuds/ArtemisKane
Summary: He looks back at me sharply. His eyes look...misty.“You know what I fucking mean!”, his voice is slightly strained, “I drive 7 fucking hours to come see my girlfriend because I miss both of my partners so much it fucking won’t stop hurting,” I’m shocked to see tears in his eyes now. Adam doesn’t cry. “And what do I see when I finally get here? My girlfriend, laughing and smiling at some other guy! Is that what you do when we’re gone? Do you video chat other guys? Maybe you get naked for them too, huh? You fucking whore bitch-“Slap!I don’t know what came over me. I hadn’t meant to do that. I had just reacted.
Relationships: Adam Parrish/Original Female Character(s), Richard Gansey III/Adam Parrish, Richard Gansey III/Adam Parrish/Original Female Character(s), Richard Gansey III/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Trials and Tribulations of Artemis Kane and the Gangsey. [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1814629
Kudos: 2





	Don’t apologize, it’s alright, I’m still here.

**Author's Note:**

> *Context*
> 
> All characters are 19, all characters are in a consensual relationship, and Artemis Kane is a feisty, loving, and analytical Omega Werewolf.
> 
> This scene takes place after “Hush, baby, just let go.”
> 
> I always pictured Adam as the jealous type, but he’s usually very good at hiding and repressing it. It’s only if he’s really hurt that he will either : A. Become really possessive and then feel guilty afterwards, B. Become cold and harsh as a defence mechanism to protect himself from being hurt further, or C. All of the above.
> 
> In this universe, Noah is still gone, but everyone still remembers him, dammit!! He’s much too precious to forget, so in this world they remember, you can’t stop me!!
> 
> Also, reckless and pointless violence in any way shape or form toward others, especially the one’s you love, is wrong and will not be tolerated. This does get addressed when Artemis slaps him, even though it was reflex brought upon by his words. Violence is never the answer.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!!

“Oh, ok! I get it now!”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, thanks, Clark!”

“My pleasure, Artemis. Keep doing those exercises I sent you and you should be good for the final exam.”

“Alright, thanks again! Bye!”

“Good bye!”

I hang up the FaceTime call on my laptop and sit back in my desk chair, rubbing my eyes and sighing tiredly. I open my eyes and stare at the equations on my paper, heaving yet another sigh. The pursuit of higher education is a tedious one, but it is one that I am grateful I am taking. I remove my headphones and stand up, stretching a little before heading out of Noah’s old room that I use as a study while I’m at Monmouth.

I walk toward the “kitchen” to grab a quick snack before bed, yawning tiredly while looking out of one of the large windows while I pass. It’s nighttime, and it looks very peaceful. I’m really looking forward to just flopping on Adam, Gansey and I’s shared bed and going to sleep. I’ve been overworking myself a little more than usual cause Gansey and Ronan are in D.C visiting their respective families, Blue is off on an internship that will propel her forward in the realm of ecology, and Adam is back at Yale. In short, I’m looking to distract myself from the pain of missing all of them, but especially my boyfriends. I stayed in Henrietta cause it’s getting close to one of my heats, and I would much rather spend it alone in Monmouth than in a dorm room surrounded by other students who don’t know about my little...lycan issue.

I open the fridge and finally settle on a yogurt cup. Unfortunately, it’s peach. I walk over to one of the drawers and take a spoon out.

As I begin heading to the bedroom, I suddenly become aware of something that shouldn’t be there.

A heartbeat. One that isn’t my own.

I still, and listen more intently. It’s coming from the very room I was headed toward, which is puzzling, cause I shouldn’t be able to hear anything coming from that room, since Gansey specifically made it sound proof so that I could spend my heats there without having to worry about disturbing anyone with the noises I’m bound to make. And I distinctly remember closing the door to it earlier today.

I set my snack down on the counter, and begin to carefully creep toward the bedroom door. As I get closer, I realize why I’m able to hear inside the room. The door is ever so slightly ajar. Through the crack, I also catch a wisp of a scent that shouldn’t be here either. It smells of moss, of motor oil, of dirt, of sun-kissed skin. There’s a faint light coming from within as well.

I brace myself for whatever strange supernatural creature is most likely in there, and kick the door open.

I stand there a moment, ready, before confusion instead of alertness overtakes me.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, profile to me and backlit by Gansey’s lamp on the nightstand, is Adam. Adam Parrish, Magician, boyfriend to Gansey and I. The very same Adam Parrish that should have been in New Haven, Connecticut, but is instead here. My mind is reeling. That explains the scent at least.

“Adam?”

He doesn’t look up.

“So,” his voice is strangely distant, “you finally noticed.”

I barely register what he says, my mind still trying to compute where I thought he was and where he is now. Sue me for being slow on the uptake right now, I’m freaking tired.

“What are you doing here?”, my voice is filled with confusion, “Did something happen?”

Suddenly, a horrible thought fills my mind.

“Oh god, are you hurt? Did something go wrong?”, he doesn’t answer, “Adam, are you alright?”

I rush over to him, but the moment I lay a hand on his shoulder Adam shrugs it off roughly and stands, regarding me with a cold stare. It’s a look that I haven’t seen in a long time, and it was never directed at me. It makes something in the pit of my stomach churn and blacken.

He continues to just stare at me, and I’m at a loss for what to say.

“Adam?”

I move toward him again, this time intending to hug him, but he shoves me back. I stumble a bit before I manage to get my balance, and I stare at him incredulously.

“Adam what the fuck?” I hiss, irritated and hurt.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” He says, his voice dangerous. But I’m not afraid, never have been. Not of Adam, nor his anger, cause even though I can tell he’s furious about something, I know he wouldn’t dare hurt me. It would kill him.

“Ok,” I say, trying to make my voice calm without sounding placating, “ok, I won’t touch you. But you gotta tell me what is going on because I’m very confused and frankly rather hurt right now.”

He barks out a harsh, mirthless laugh, eyes still cold. He shakes his head.

“I’m going. Sorry for bothering you.” He sneers that last part sarcastically.

He makes to leave, but I put a palm on his chest. He grabs my wrist hard, but I refuse to budge.

“Move.” He says, forcefully.

“No.” I fire back, staring him right in the eyes, letting him know that neither one of us is leaving until this is fixed.

He breaks eye contact first, his shoulders sagging slightly and his grip on my wrist loosening a bit, but he doesn’t let go. I keep my palm firmly pressed to his chest.

“What’s wrong, Adam?” I say, calmly.

His grip tightens again ever so slightly.

“Why don’t you go ask fucking Clark, huh?”, he spits out venomously, “You seemed to be having a fucking great time with Clark, so why don’t you just go back to him?”

My mind reels once more.

“Adam,” I’m struggling to keep the slight irritation with this whole situation out of my voice, “What are you talking about?”

He looks back at me sharply. His eyes look...misty.

“You know what I fucking mean!”, his voice is slightly strained, “I drive 7 fucking hours to come see my girlfriend because I miss both of my partners so much it fucking won’t stop hurting,” I’m shocked to see tears in his eyes now. Adam doesn’t cry. “And what do I see when I finally get here? My girlfriend, laughing and smiling at some other guy! Is that what you do when we’re gone? Do you video chat other guys? Maybe you get naked for them too, huh? You fucking whore bitch-“

Slap!

I don’t know what came over me. I hadn’t meant to do that. I had just reacted.

Adam’s face is blank with shock, a faint pink handprint on his face. I hadn’t slapped him hard, but still, a slap was a slap.

I immediately feel guilt squeeze my throat tight.

“Oh god”, I mutter, panic rising, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Adam.”

My throat feels too small, but I know that’s not what I should be focusing on now. I step away from him, that shocked look still on his face, the tears that had been in his eyes streaking down his cheeks. Guilt strangles me even more.

“I’m sorry,” My voice is high and vaguely panicky, “I’ll go get an ice pack.”

I hurry out of the room, throw open the freezer, grab an ice pack, wrap it in the kitchen towel, and end up slamming into a firm chest, the ice slipping from my hands and clattering on the ground. 

I let out a little shriek of surprise. I look up at Adam, and am yet again thrown off course.

He’s crying, actually crying. He looks so broken, so damn sad. These small hitching sobs keep trying to escape. I don’t know what to say, and even if I did, the renewed wave of guilt that hits me at seeing him like this leaves me floored.

“Adam I-“

“Artemis.”

I stop talking at the way he says my name. So pained and yet...loving. I stay silent and simply stand there looking at him.

“I’m,” small repressed sob, “I’m so f-fucking sorry...”

He sobs once more and collapses against me, pressing me back against the kitchen counter. 

I stay still for a moment, uncertain what to do, what he needs from me right now.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Artemis. I’m so sorry.”

He continues to mutter more apologies into my hair, and I finally begin moving and bring up a hand to cradle the back of his neck.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” I murmur, attempting to soothe him, “I’m the one who’s sorry, you don’t have to-“

“No!”

He pulls back, hands gripping my arms, voice pained, gorgeous blue eyes wide with guilt and fear.

“Don’t fucking tell me I don’t have to apologize because I do!”, he says, forcefully, “You don’t deserve me treating you like that! You don’t-“

“I am sorry, Adam!” I fire back, “I shouldn’t have slapped you and I’m-“

“I deserved it!”

“No!” I scream, sheer panic colouring my voice.

He startles a little, still staring at me with those wide blue eyes.

“Don’t you dare,” I growl, “Don’t you fucking dare ever say you deserve to be hit because you fucking don’t!”

Adam’s face gets really sad.

“Artemis-“

“No.”

“Artemis!”

“No! Shut up! Don’t ever fucking say something like that ever again, do you understand!”

He just stares at me, looking ashamed. When he speaks, his Henrietta accent is strong.

“Darling-“ 

“Adam, do you understand!”

We stay locked in this moment, me in a blind, desperate panic, and him feeling ashamed and broken. He sighs, more tears slipping down his cheeks as he looks away and tries to hide his face.

“Yeah,” he whispers, “ok...”

I reach a gentle hand toward the cheek marred with a faint pink mark. I stroke his freckled tan cheek, tears springing to my eyes in turn. I open my mouth to apologize once more, but Adam cuts me off with a kiss.

It’s passionate and filled with mingled pain, guilt, and love. We part languidly, and while I open my eyes, his remain closed.

“No more apologizing,” he murmurs to the space between our lips, “ok? We both fucked up, and we both apologized.”

I hum slightly, gently brushing my lips with his.

“Can I ask you something?” I say, hesitantly.

Adam kisses the tip of my nose.

“Anything.”

I smile softly at that.

“Were you...” I falter slightly, “were you jealous? Is that why you reacted that way?”

He tenses slightly, but the tension melts away quickly.

“Yeah,” he mutters, “I was.”

I want to ask more, but I sense he’ll tell me anyway, so I wait, gently stroking up and down his back. He heaves a sigh against my lips, our foreheads still pressed together.

“When I got to Monmouth,” he begins haltingly, “I had been looking forward to surprising you. I didn’t know where you were. I was tired from the drive, and just wanted to fall asleep holding you. And then I heard you laughing, and talking to someone named ‘Clark’, and...I don’t know...I felt...betrayed almost...like...like I didn’t matter to you anymore...as if...as if I never mattered anyway...unknowable...”

He furrows his brow and presses his lips together, clearly fighting off another flood of tears.

“Before I met Gansey, Ronan, Blue, or Noah. Before I met you. I thought...I thought I was unlovable...” tears cloud my vision, “but...you all...in your own way...made me realize that I am worth loving...even if it’s hard to accept sometimes...and I know it was stupid of me to just immediately jump to thinking you were done with me, because you’d never shown any signs of being done with me before, and you had your headphones on after all and didn’t think anyone would be here too...so...but yeah...I was really jealous and...yeah...I’m sorry.”

Tears are now streaming freely down my face. I lean forward and kiss his slightly trembling lips.

“I thought you said no more apologizing.” I tease slightly, attempting to lighten the mood a little. It works some, his lips curling in a slight smile. I kiss him again.

“Adam”, I say when I pull back, making sure he looks at me, “I love you. I love you so much that I can’t picture my life without you in it. I’m dating Gansey, and I’m dating you, because I want to be with both of you. I want to you give you both all the love in the world because you deserve that and more. Don’t ever think otherwise, ok?”

He smiles softly again, eyes misty once more.

“Ok.”

We bask in that moment a little while longer before I break the silence.

“Also, Clark is one of my teachers, remember?” Adam’s head snaps up to look at me, “He’s been tutoring me in calculus cause...well...you know I’m terrible at it. He’s also, I’m pretty sure, fifty-something. He’s been my main ally at Harvard, not only as a teacher, but as someone whom I trust with my little...lycan secret.”

Adam’s eyes are wide in shock.

“So...you really have absolutely nothing to worry about,” I drawl, “cause as I said before, I am very, very much taken by this handsome man in front of me.”

He crashes his lips onto mine. It’s passion, love, and a little something else. Something biting, and harsh. Something that is currently making my lip bleed. Adam pulls away sharply and curses.

“Fuck, sorry,” he pants, “I’m still feeling...”

“Worked up?” 

“Yeah,” his face colours in shame, “We should-“

I surge up, wrapping my arms around his neck, and kiss him once more. I put all the words left unsaid into it. 

“Come on,” I whisper when I pull back, “let it out, I know you want to.”

“Artemis-“

“Adam.”

We share a stubborn stare down.

“I don’t wanna hurt you, darling.”

“You’re not gonna hurt me.”

He rolls his eyes. 

“How can you know that?”

“Because I know you,” I say with certainty, “and I love you. So, the only question left to ask is, why are your pants still on?”

He lets out a short laugh, lips pulled into a genuine smile. Adam kisses me again.

“You’re ridiculous,” he says between bursts of laughter before sobering up some. He looks me dead in the eyes, “I love you, Artemis Kane.”

I smile softly and stroke his cheek.

“And I love you, Adam Parrish.” His smile at my words light up a brilliant fire within me. “Now”, I say teasingly, “are you gonna show me who I belong to or what?”

He rolls his eyes once more before picking me up by my thighs and carefully pushing me against one of the kitchen walls.

Adam starts off by leaving multiple hickeys down the length of my neck. I’m moaning and writhing in his arms, his tight grip on my thighs sure to leave a mark. When he deems my neck marked enough, he pulls back to admire his work. His sandy curls are disheveled from my hands gripping them, there’s a flush high on his cheeks, his full lips are red, swollen, parted, and panting, and his blue eyes are almost completely swallowed up by the black of his pupil. He stares at my neck reverently.

“Mine.” He practically growls out, and I instinctively bare my neck in submission. He groans deeply at that, knows what it means not only as a person, but as a werewolf as well. It signifies unconditional trust. 

His hips buck up into mine, and I can feel how hard his cock is through his jeans. We grind against each other for a moment longer, gasping and moaning into each other’s mouths while we try to kiss, before it becomes too much and not enough at the same time.

“Adam,” I moan, “more, please!”

He kisses the sensitive spot behind my ear once more before he sets me down briefly, stripping me and himself of our offending garments.

Once we’re both naked, I fall to my knees and take his long hard cock into my mouth, beginning to suck him off.

He bucks and cries out, incredibly sensitive when I make sure to suck hard on the head of his cock. Adam threads a hand through my hair, and I look up at him. He curses.

“Fuck, darling” his Henrietta accent is really really thick now, and I can feel myself become even wetter than I was before, “your mouth feels amazing. That’s it, suck me good, my little slut.”

I moan at his words and proceed to suck harder and faster.

He throws his head back and is suddenly pulling me up to stand, picking me up in his arms, and pressing me against the wall once more. He kisses me hard, and our tongues battle for dominance as he begins to line himself up with my entrance.

His cock probes my hole, and I whine.

“You ready, my little cockslut?” He rasps into my ear, “you ready for daddy’s big cock?”

I moan out something that kinda sounds like a yes, and then he’s pushing in slowly, making sure I feel every inch. All the while, he’s muttering a mantra of “mine, mine, mine, mine” under his breath.

I arch my back, pushing my breasts into his chest. His hands grip my thighs even harder at that.

Finally, he’s fully seated inside of me, and we both take a moment to catch our breaths.

“So gorgeous,” Adam murmurs against my lips, “so fucking gorgeous and all mine.”

I moan and thread my hands through his hair, tugging lightly on the strands which gets him to buck slightly up into me. We both moan in unison.

“You good, sugar?” He drawls.

I nod my head, words escaping me, as he begins to thrust slowly into me before he begins working up an almost punishing rhythm, making me feel all the pent-up frustration, all the jealousy and guilt, all the things he struggles to say.

Our bodies move in-sync, every push and pull, every thrust and roll of the hips, every moan and groan, every cry and bitten off curse like a gorgeous symphony of sensation, passion, and love.

Eventually, we are both right at the edge.

“Artemis.” Adam pants out, thrusting harder.

“Ah-Adam!”

“Artemis!” He moans out desperately.

I know what he wants, so I surge forward and crash my lips to his, saying with actions instead of words how part of my heart and soul belong to him, the other obviously being for Gansey. This, the reassurance, is all he needs to push him over the edge. He cums with a harsh thrust and a bite to my neck, and suddenly I’m gone too, arching my back into him and moaning his name long and loud.

We stay there a moment, riding out our respective highs as we kiss languidly. 

He pulls out slowly, an unpleasant feeling following his departure as he sets me down on my swaying feet.

He wraps his arms around my waist, and I thread my hands through his hair, and we kiss ‘I love you’s into each other’s mouths.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam and I are lying in bed, cuddling, when Gansey FaceTimes me.

He’s in his old bedroom at his parents’ house. He doesn’t have his glasses on, his chestnut hair is artfully disheveled as per usual, his hazel eyes are shining with love, and his smile is blinding. He’s faintly lit by a bedside lamp, and honestly, he looks like a Greek god.

“I’m so happy you’re spending the weekend with Artemis, Adam!” Gansey says, talking a mile a minute, “I had been a little worried initially with her being all by herself at Monmouth, even though I know you can take care of yourself just fine, Artemis, and then I became terribly worried about you, Adam, being alone at Yale, and then I started missing you both even more and I just can’t wait to see you both again! There are so many things we can do when we’re all together again! We can go bowling - wait, do people still bowl-“

“Gansey!” Adam and I say in unison, amusement written plain across both our faces. Gansey grimaces slightly, sheepish.

“Sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize,” I say softly, “it’s cute, but I just spent the past 4 hours staring at equations and I am feeling exhausted.”

Gansey starts up.

“Oh, yes, of course!” He says, guiltily.

His expression gives me pause, and before he can get another word out I say, “Tell us about your day.”

Both Adam and Gansey stare at me.

“You literally just said that you’re exhausted.” Adam says incredulously.

“Yeah, but I would much rather spend this time right now with both of you,” Gansey smiles softly, albeit slightly concerned, and Adam hugs me a little tighter, “besides, I don’t have work until late tomorrow, and you don’t have anything either Adam, so we can afford to stay up a little later and sleep in, no?”

Adam chuckles slightly and shakes his head while Gansey bites his lip worriedly.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be an inconvenience to you both.”

“Gans”, Adam says warmly, “tell us about your day.”

Gansey smiles warmly in return.

“Alright! So, it started off with Helen barging into my room at an ungodly hour even for me-“

And with Gansey’s soothing passionate voice and Adam’s warm weight pressed all around me, I allow myself to feel truly and completely happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed my midnight ranting!! As always, constructive feedback is much appreciated!!


End file.
